Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize