I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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