I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
