It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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