God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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