U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize