You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
