im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize