I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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