Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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