he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize