he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
