TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
