i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When are your genitals available?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
