Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I love you.
Bad choice
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize