He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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