Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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