He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I deserve this hangover.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
