You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize