OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
