She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We left the knife in your bed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
