I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
