a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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