I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
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He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
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They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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