I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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