so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
