I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
