Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize