Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
