He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
