you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
