i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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