eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
