I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
