then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He? As in you personified your dick?
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