Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i came on her dog
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
