I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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