Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
