Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
