Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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