I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
