I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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