Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize