brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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