I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This baby is an asshole
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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