Cold hands, warm shart.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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