true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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