im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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