I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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