In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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