do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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