I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
