I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
