I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Moan for me like Helen Keller
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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