She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
