Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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