So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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