Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
